A family I babysit for is about to go through a major change: their nanny of six years is leaving them. Some of the younger children have never had any other nanny, so this is a significant life event for these children. This upcoming change made me think about how major life changes like this effect young children, who depend on consistency in their lives.

Major changes are often impossible to avoid. The family had no control over their nanny’s decision to leave; similarly, parents often have no control over school, deaths in the family, relocation, and other changes that children have to face in their lives. Often all a parent can do is try to transition their child into the change as best possible under the circumstances.

Talk to your child. Changes are all the more frightening for children when they don’t understand them or can’t explore them. Talking to your child about an impending change (or even a change they recently went through) can help your child by giving them a knowledge base from which to understand the change, as well as making them feel supported while the change is taking place. For example, if Grandpa has just died, talking to your child can help her understand what death means, and reassure her that the rest of her family will not soon follow.

Give your child time to adjust to the change. For example, the family I spoke of has scheduled the new nanny to start work while the old nanny is still with them. Overlapping the old nanny with the new not only gives the new nanny a chance to learn the kids and the household, it also gives the kids a chance to become comfortable with her before the old, familiar one leaves.

Teach your child that it’s okay to reflect on times that are past. The nanny who is leaving will be back occasionally to babysit for the kids, giving them a chance to visit and spend time with a person who was a major part of their lives. Looking at pictures or visiting old neighborhoods are also good ways to reflect on old times with your child.

It’s important to remember that since a child only has a few years to serve as a basis for understanding life, major changes can be particularly upsetting. For this reason, it’s important to try to ease the transition as much as possible before, during, and after the actual change.